Welcome! This site is an endeavor to spread an attitude of positive thinking and optimism. By searching for joy and beauty in all things - even the mundane, perhaps a smile will spread from my computer ... to you!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"In The Blink of An Eye"

My boys have become young men.

It happens in the blink of an eye....and it's so easy to forget that God "gives" our children to us for only a short time.  It's our destiny as parents, for ultimately we must release each child into the world to fulfill their destinies. 

The "Empty Nest" syndrome is quickly approaching our household and believe me, I'm very aware of the impending transition.  Our eldest son has completed college, has a fantastic computer/I.T. position, and recently began house-hunting.  Actively searching through the numerous deals that exist in the housing market at present, he's attempting to take advantage of the federal tax credit for first-time buyers before April.  Our middle son completed culinary school, is a chef for an amazing company, and is hoping that it won't be much longer till he follows his brother out the door.  The youngest has one year of high school left, but knew in his heart several years ago that he would be beginning his career with the U.S. Navy after graduation.  In less than a couple years, they will all have flown the nest.

I've already known in my heart that this change in my life (and that of my husband) will be bittersweet.  It sounds cliche', but the two of us have already had fun and lengthy chats about what we'll see and do when the boys are gone.  Twenty years ago, I never would have thought that it might seem exciting.  After all - my kids are everything to me.

I've come to understand and cherish the idea that this will be an entirely new and exciting time in our life together as a couple.  Exciting because it will be un-chartered territory again.  However, unlike the very beginning of a marriage - where there is still so much to learn about each other - we'll now be able to get to know, understand and experience more of the world...together.

I'm writing of this today because I've been earnestly counting my blessings, and this morning my heart was touched with the thought that we can always begin with the gift of our families.  In good times and in bad, they are a constant. Even though we have difficulties in getting along with or understanding each other, live miles apart, or might still be getting to know each other, each member of our family has profoundly affected us.

I'm sure there are those in the world who would find it extremely hard to agree with this.  There are many who have led less than perfect childhoods or have faced extreme pain and hardship somewhere within their family structure.  While I certainly haven't felt their sadness, I can understand how it would seem impossible to give thanks for someone that may have left a scar upon their heart and soul.  Perhaps, in those instances, it might be possible to give thanks for what one might have learned, and appreciate that the past doesn't always have to determine our future and ultimate personality.

I'd be the first to tell you that my boys aren't perfect.  That I haven't been the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect daughter.  Not one of us can say we've been a "perfect" brother, sister, father, aunt, uncle, step-parent, grand-parent.....perfect anything. Yet, while usually unspoken - family accepts this - warts and all, unconditionally. 

It usually takes many years for us to fully appreciate and understand how our families help shape us into special and unique individuals.  Watching my boys become men is allowing me at this point in my life to understand this cycle and the wisdom that comes only by witnessing the process of their maturity... an experience shared by my parents, and their parents before them.

I'm excited now, waiting on their next steps as they face adulthood head-on.  Full of hope and ambition, the possibilities for each of them is limitless.  Though we still worry at times about whether they might fall or stumble, what a thrill and blessing to watch each of them become an active, contributing, and caring member of our world.

I'll miss their presence within these walls that have watched them grow...seen them cry... heard them yell...felt their laughter...

But the thrill and pride of witnessing their first flight.....priceless.

Although mom will be crying, many of those tears will be of pride and Joy.  It's a perfect example of what bittersweet actually means - for joy and sadness sometimes really do occupy our hearts at the same moment. 

For now, I'm finding extreme Joy in the gift of being mom to three young men.  What a blessing to just be a part of that - learning to love them as adults - continuing to love them as my sons.

"Children are not things to be molded, but people to be unfolded."
- Jess Lair (Inspirational Author)

Pay it forward - spread a smile!


  1. Love the last photo,it is lovely seeing your children all grown up but still your little babies. Thank you for your comment about my son. It is difficult to let them go,especially prematurely, but sometimes you have to stand back and trust that all will be fine. Thank you for sharing x

  2. Oh Pam! your boys are beautiful ! and they are always our babies no matter how big, tall, and hairy they get :) I too have 3 boys, 15, 14 and 9, so I am a wee bit behind you, but I see it coming soon (empty nest) and it is an odd sensation - i like what you said about letting them go to their own destinies - allowing them to unfold...sounds like you did a fabulous job Pam - enjoy the fruits of your labour!


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