"How To Be An Angel..."

I love modern technology. We added the “TEVO” service to our satellite/cable service last year, and simply put - it's amazing!

Since my husband and I don't watch a huge amount of television, this handy little service allows us to record the programs we do watch, and save them until a time when we can view them. (without having to deal with tapes or discs.) With the boys still at home, it's really handy when mom and dad are forced to watch something later on!

The other day I noticed that Oprah had a special guest on that my husband and I had recently been reading about. He wasn't quite ready to leave his home-office for the day, so I recorded the show so that we could watch it together. Oprah's guest that day was Mr. Roger Ebert, the famous movie critic (most notably of  At The Movies - with Siskel and Ebert) who has been battling Thyroid cancer since about 2005. Even though the majority of her show that day was to be on the upcoming Oscars, I was so glad that we had the opportunity to watch this particular piece together, because Roger Ebert's appearance was extremely inspirational, and it couldn't have come at a better time for us.

Because of the degree of Mr. Ebert's cancer, the entire lower portion of his jaw was removed. Many of you might remember what this gentleman previously looked like during the high-point of his career.  The numerous surgeries he has had to endure have dramatically changed his appearance. What deeply impressed us was that his appearance is no longer as important to him, and Roger had no issues with being on television in front of millions of people, speaking through his wife and the latest in computer/voice technology.

His entire career being the sharing of thoughts and opinions to millions of people, Roger can no longer communicate with his own voice, and no longer eat or drink. Accompanied by his wife Chaz, Oprah asked if Roger missed "eating." Chaz responded that he actually missed the bonding and camaraderie that occurs when sharing meals with friends and family. He now often watches his wife eat, vicariously experiencing the meal through her.

Even in the face of such hardship (which honestly, would crush the best of us) Roger Ebert exudes courage, strength, and peace. He has continued to find meaning and purpose in his life, not letting his unfortunate medical past and ensuing physical handicaps prevent him from taking part in life's special events – he's even attending this year's Academy Awards show. He continues to write movie reviews and news, as well as his personal journal and blog (see the links below).  More importantly, Roger is determined to live his life in an attitude of Joy:

"I believe that if - at the end of it all - according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do.  To make others less happy is a crime; to make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts.  We must try to contribute Joy to the world.  That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances - we must try.  I didn't always know this, and I am happy that I have lived long enough to find it out."   

(Passage read from Roger Ebert's journal by his wife Chaz on Oprah, Wednesday, March 3, 2010.)

Roger had written this testimony down prior to the show, and as his wife read it aloud to the audience and viewers, it was obvious that it had deeply moved Oprah Winfrey. My husband and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes. This is a man who clearly knows why he is still here, and continues to courageously walk forward in that belief.

Even though their presence might come to us via the television, internet, mail or other form of communication, I firmly believe that God “places” certain people in our paths at specific moments in our lives. There are many definitions of what an angel is, but I personally believe it is a being(s) sent or placed to be near us at crucial times in our lives. My husband and I were immediately uplifted upon witnessing Roger Ebert's cheerful and poignant message, and I knew deep within that the two of us were meant to hear it together at that particular moment. For this reason, I not only believe that angels exist in the spiritual realm, but here on earth as well.

We might not actually consider a particular person an “angel,” but perhaps their presence or the manner in which they were introduced into our lives was indeed an angelic moment. Many would call this divine providence, and it's not uncommon for this to happen when we least expect it, often not even noticing that we've made a deep, spiritual connection with another. I'm quite certain that at some point in my life, I may have personally missed the signs that I had crossed paths with someone that touched me in this regard - or that I might have touched theirs.

Perhaps when we are at our lowest moments - when we are searching for guidance and any form of hope – our hearts are more open to recognizing those that come to us with angelic aid. It can be quite easy to ignore the fact that “someone” else might have played a part in our lives when things are going smoothly.

While it's very important, taking time to “stop and smell the roses” doesn't necessarily mean that we should take time to relax and just enjoy being where we are. It can also mean taking time to notice those around us – even though they may have come into our lives only briefly – and appreciating their presence and connection to us at that moment.

Since I began this blog, I've found myself becoming even more attuned to those around me – even those that I “meet” on television or the internet. While writing, I'm opening my heart and soul to the page. Prior to putting a particular thought or idea to pen, I've almost always been struck with the realization that someone else has played an integral part in my feelings or experiences.

I'm certain that Roger Ebert has no idea that he touched our hearts so deeply yesterday, as well as hundreds of thousands of others.  Sometimes the Lord places an angel in the path of many...  it's up to us to notice and take heed of their message.

Sometimes God uses us, without us even knowing. 

Perhaps you will be an angel today - bringing your own, very special gift of Joy to another who needs it - at just the right moment.

Pay it forward - spread a smile!

For addtional information on Roger Ebert:

Roger's Journal / reviews:

The Chicago Sun-Times - Roger Ebert's Journal

Guest appearance on Oprah:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Roger-Eberts-New-Voice

Esquire Magazine's Profile on Roger Ebert:

http://www.esquire.com/features/roger-ebert-0310?click=main_sr

Photos property of Google Images & Esquire Magazine

"Just Doing It"

Walking – it “does a body good” - so why am I not doing it more often?

We've all been told of the numerous health benefits of walking for at least 20 minutes every day. Whether we choose to take a stroll indoors or out, the activity not only rejuvenates our body, but our mind.

I've been giving myself a lot of excuses lately on why I don't want to get on my treadmill. Even though I've started this new aerobics class and attend two to three times per week, I know that I should be filling in the days I don't attend with a walk.

“I'm not a morning person” (therefore, I “can't” wake up earlier to squeeze in 20 minutes); “I'm tired and brain-dead after work” (therefore, I “deserve” to relax when I get home); “I'm still tired and now full” (after eating dinner – therefore, why start now?)...can you tell where I'm heading here?

We've all fallen victim to this kind of habit – where we talk ourselves into (and out of) things or situations we just don't feel like dealing with at the moment. Truth is, most of the time the final “outcome” of what we're trying to accomplish is something that will ultimately be GOOD for us!

I know that I will feel energized and more clear-headed if I walk. I know that I will drop those extra pounds much faster (and my jeans will fit even better!) if I walk each day. I know what all the benefits are and can be, so why do I choose to ignore them?

I finally bit the bullet and signed up for the low-impact aerobics class, and while it's broken the ice and gotten me out of the house with a good friend, I haven't completely bought into the idea of making this concentrated activity a good habit. For that's what it needs to become – a habit. Thinking that I was just “lazy” I would berate myself again and again each time another week without exercise went by. Now that I've started doing something – taking the class for instance, I know that what I really needed to do – to get out of the rut - was take the first step.

How many of us (particularly during bad weather!) fall into those ruts? Before you know it, just the decision we make to remain there has become a bad habit! This is why so many self-help gurus have suggested that taking the first step is always the hardest. While the decision to change many not be difficult, the action required to actually DO something requires effort. Once we've taken that first step – performed the necessary EFFORT to break a current cycle – the rest becomes easier.

Deep inside, I'm desperately waiting for warmer weather. So many of us get caught up in the winter and bad-weather "blues."  The perpetually gray and wet scenery doesn't do much for any persons' mood.  I long to don my I-pod and venture out into clear skies and sunshine....but what's stopping me from listening to great music now, and visualizing sunny skies and warm beaches? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It occurs to me that often times the biggest step in undertaking any sort of change is changing our attitude. If my attitude going into a new decision or endeavor is in any way negative, change will just not happen.

My "state of mind" has improved greatly over the last several days, which has helped me physically feel much better (read my previous post "Spiritual Battles") I'll be heading out to aerobics class shortly, so I'm looking forward to regaining some energy and momentum. Georgia is slated to (possibly) get rain and sleet again late this evening and tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping the sunny skies we just enjoyed, and my re-newed sunny disposition can stand firm!

NOW I understand where Nike got their slogan: “Just Do It”

Here's hoping that we all can take a first step at something today.

Whether it be to exercise, change a habit, take a new class...

try something new and pay it forward!

"In The Blink of An Eye"

My boys have become young men.

It happens in the blink of an eye....and it's so easy to forget that God "gives" our children to us for only a short time.  It's our destiny as parents, for ultimately we must release each child into the world to fulfill their destinies. 

The "Empty Nest" syndrome is quickly approaching our household and believe me, I'm very aware of the impending transition.  Our eldest son has completed college, has a fantastic computer/I.T. position, and recently began house-hunting.  Actively searching through the numerous deals that exist in the housing market at present, he's attempting to take advantage of the federal tax credit for first-time buyers before April.  Our middle son completed culinary school, is a chef for an amazing company, and is hoping that it won't be much longer till he follows his brother out the door.  The youngest has one year of high school left, but knew in his heart several years ago that he would be beginning his career with the U.S. Navy after graduation.  In less than a couple years, they will all have flown the nest.

I've already known in my heart that this change in my life (and that of my husband) will be bittersweet.  It sounds cliche', but the two of us have already had fun and lengthy chats about what we'll see and do when the boys are gone.  Twenty years ago, I never would have thought that it might seem exciting.  After all - my kids are everything to me.

I've come to understand and cherish the idea that this will be an entirely new and exciting time in our life together as a couple.  Exciting because it will be un-chartered territory again.  However, unlike the very beginning of a marriage - where there is still so much to learn about each other - we'll now be able to get to know, understand and experience more of the world...together.

I'm writing of this today because I've been earnestly counting my blessings, and this morning my heart was touched with the thought that we can always begin with the gift of our families.  In good times and in bad, they are a constant. Even though we have difficulties in getting along with or understanding each other, live miles apart, or might still be getting to know each other, each member of our family has profoundly affected us.

I'm sure there are those in the world who would find it extremely hard to agree with this.  There are many who have led less than perfect childhoods or have faced extreme pain and hardship somewhere within their family structure.  While I certainly haven't felt their sadness, I can understand how it would seem impossible to give thanks for someone that may have left a scar upon their heart and soul.  Perhaps, in those instances, it might be possible to give thanks for what one might have learned, and appreciate that the past doesn't always have to determine our future and ultimate personality.

I'd be the first to tell you that my boys aren't perfect.  That I haven't been the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect daughter.  Not one of us can say we've been a "perfect" brother, sister, father, aunt, uncle, step-parent, grand-parent.....perfect anything. Yet, while usually unspoken - family accepts this - warts and all, unconditionally. 

It usually takes many years for us to fully appreciate and understand how our families help shape us into special and unique individuals.  Watching my boys become men is allowing me at this point in my life to understand this cycle and the wisdom that comes only by witnessing the process of their maturity... an experience shared by my parents, and their parents before them.

I'm excited now, waiting on their next steps as they face adulthood head-on.  Full of hope and ambition, the possibilities for each of them is limitless.  Though we still worry at times about whether they might fall or stumble, what a thrill and blessing to watch each of them become an active, contributing, and caring member of our world.

I'll miss their presence within these walls that have watched them grow...seen them cry... heard them yell...felt their laughter...

But the thrill and pride of witnessing their first flight.....priceless.

Although mom will be crying, many of those tears will be of pride and Joy.  It's a perfect example of what bittersweet actually means - for joy and sadness sometimes really do occupy our hearts at the same moment. 

For now, I'm finding extreme Joy in the gift of being mom to three young men.  What a blessing to just be a part of that - learning to love them as adults - continuing to love them as my sons.

"Children are not things to be molded, but people to be unfolded."

- Jess Lair (Inspirational Author)

Pay it forward - spread a smile!

"Spiritual Battles..."

Have you ever begun a new project – particularly one that you sincerely hope will be of service or joy to others – only to be met with some sort of obstacle or negative energy?

I've actually experienced this several times throughout my life, and you would think by now that I would be tuned in to when I've let this enemy slip into my daily efforts and thoughts. I pose this problem as a person, because I firmly believe that he – "Satan," "the evil one," "the devil," "Beelzebub," "negative energy," "the dark force," (whatever you want to call it) – really exists, and in order to recognize and defend ourselves from the enemy, we must put a name to it and face it.

Surprisingly, it didn't occur to me until just this morning that my husband and I were facing this kind of “spiritual warfare” yet again. The devil has attempted numerous times to infiltrate our lives as a loving couple and tight-knit family unit. “Attacks” might seem like an extreme word to those who aren't familiar with wht the sneaky and furtive tactics of the devil can really mean, but I firmly believe that this is how he operates. Unless you are constantly on guard, feeding and nurturing the garden of your own faith, before you know it he has slipped into your life - interjecting negativity, hopelessness, anger and hatred into situations where you normally would stand strong in clear and proper judgment.

That's how he works. Personally, I don't believe the devil brings down plagues, earth-quakes, financial ruin or death. Because God has given us the gift of free will, the ability to make our own choices and decisions in dealing with what life hands us, we unfortunately have the ability to choose unwisely. And that's just what the “devil” is pushing us to do. While he probably didn't cause us to loose our job, wreck the car, or put someone else in a bad mood, he does try to “push the buttons” that cause us to react to these moments with negativity and without love. Then, he tries to keep us there – mired in the darkness of self-pity, doubt, fear, and hatred – away from the light and grace of love, peace and Joy.

I've previously written that our family has experienced some major hardships this past year. In a nutshell, over the last week our situation has continued and become worse. I admit this to you only to support and explain my recent absence from the page; it truly has become a battle for me and my family, and I apologize. While I can't read the future and still don't have all the answers, I have made additional discoveries and insight into why I've reacted to recent situations the way I have, and why my family continues to suffer.

Over the last several years, I've found that I am getting really good at directing my anger towards dirt. I'm not sure if my boys have really figured this out yet, but when I've been hit with yet another piece of bad news or situation beyond my control, I start to clean. Rather than screaming, I try very hard to just “get mad at the dirt,” and go around the house taking care of items that may not have been tidied up in a while. Not only is this kind of simple work therapeutic, I've realized it's one thing that I have “control” over. Usually after several minutes of vacuuming or dusting, my heart will start speaking to God, and I'll use that time to converse with Him about how I'm feeling.

My house is very tidy at the moment.

However, I've (we've) been bombarded with so much lately, that the cleaning hasn't totally eased the unrest and nervousness within my soul, and I let myself slip into a bit of depression. I literally haven't been able to focus, let alone write about anything “positive.”

It's become obvious to me that I've let Satan enter into these moments, and have let my “guard” down. We all used to come together pretty frequently for family prayer – particularly when we'd had disagreements or were concerned for other family members, etc. We also took time to give thanks for the joys and blessings we received.

You see, the devil doesn't want us to spend time in God's presence. When we choose to give thanks in all things, when we choose to focus on love and what's right in the world, Satan has no entry. It can be so easy to let ourselves slip into despair and apathy – we've all experienced these moments – after all, we're only human.

Upon the celebration of Ash Wednesday last week, our family signed up to participate in several activities during the Lenten season, designed to strengthen our devotion and faith during this time of preparation before Easter. Because of recent events, our desire to take part in anything has been very low, to say the least. Being very active in our faith community, we've encountered the devil's obstacles and attacks each time we've begun a service project or joined in any kind of activity meant to increase and strengthen our faith in God. I now see that Satan has tried to use this opportunity to break us, and keep us from fully experiencing God's love and mercy.

My positive message today? I'm not going to let it happen - I won't let Satan win. I'm not saying it's going to be a piece of cake, but it's possible. Life can and must continue. I can choose to continue to see God's Blessings around me each and every day.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase."

 ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Even amidst great tragedy, we can continue putting one foot in front of the other, day-by-day, week-by-week, year-by-year. By doing so life brightens before us, most times without us even realizing it. I was struck by a report on the early news this morning as I got ready to head out to work. Joannie Rochette, an Olympic figure-skater for Canada (their national champion as a matter of fact), found out only 2 days ago that her mother had died of a massive heart attack after arriving in Vancouver. This young lady has made the courageous decision to compete tonight, in spite of her tragedy and loss, knowing that her mother had been her biggest fan and supporter. It's not just a matter of willpower (although it helps). We have to continually practice trusting in God – His light is there to surround each step of our difficult journeys – all we have to do is ask Him to join us. We can find Joy in the fact that he will never leave us.

Though our options might not always seem clear, we always have a choice. Sometimes it seems so much easier to take the easy way out, by not doing "anything." Letting things be while we sit and stew about what we've done wrong, or who's wronged us, or the blows that life has dealt us won't carry us forward. While a good cry, cleaning the house from top to bottom, or maybe pounding out our frustrations on a construction project will help release the tension and stress we're feeling, eventually, we must continue on.

We can always find light and love in moving forward. By allowing Satan and his negative forces to creep in, we are slated to remain in the dark.

Asking the angels, saints, and those that I love to pray for me, I will strive to continue to live as though each day were my last. Surrounded by that much love, how can I go wrong?

Oh, and something else the devil doesn't like?

Paying it forward.

Pay it forward – spread a smile!

Image courtesy of Google Images.

"Only God Can Make A Tree"

I've been staring at trees again. At first it was because I was missing their summer fullness – their green, warm-weather foliage blowing softly in spring and summer breezes. I love trees...the different shapes, heights, variety of leaves, those that flower – those that don't.

Recently driving through the local countryside on a wet, gloomy day – and we've had a lot of wet, gloomy days this winter – I realized how much I still enjoyed those same trees without their covering of green.

Without the thousands of individual leaves covering each branch, each tree reveals another side to it's personality. Bare of any covering, we are allowed to view the form and structure of each branch, each limb, each trunk...as they taper off into differing directions towards the sky.

Some trees are massive – those who have weathered decades of changing seasons - their bark showing signs of age their limbs curling in every direction as they continue to mature. Others are young and strong, their trunks straight – the bark still unmarked by time and nature.

I find them extremely moving and emotional. Even in the bleakness of winter each tree reveals an inner view of it's growth, maturity and wisdom to me. I find myself wondering what these trees have witnessed of humanity.... Forests that have come and gone; children playing and growing beneath them; perhaps travelers on foot, stopping for a rest in the shade of their branches. Growing weary of the browns, grays, and muddy colors of the winter, I have found a new way to appreciate their stark and unusual beauty.

Reviewing what I've just written, it seems as though I might be describing people. When stripped of all foliage - whether full and colorful or sparse and dull – we're all pretty much the same underneath. A straight or stooping posture, smooth or furrowed brow, and number of gray hairs permits us a glimpse of the wisdom and experience of another soul.

Like trees our roots grow wider and deeper with time – strengthened during periods of balmy weather, we are empowered to withstand the storms life surely will bring. Each experience, each encounter we make is an opportunity to put down another root.

Call me a “tree-hugger,” but trees make me smile. Even on the gloomiest of days I can look at a tree and witness its beauty, as it reaches toward heaven reminding me of the strength and power that lies within.

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

"Trees" - Alfred Joyce Kilmer, 1913

(Pictures property of Pamela Bousquet)

(posting originally appears on "Writer's Rising")



Pay it foward - spread a smile!