"If You Just.....Smile"

Yes – I know...it is rather obvious that I haven't been here of late, isn't it? I have a confession to make...I have not been in a very positive frame of mind.

The reasons why are really not important, and if I listed them here they would only come through as excuses for not putting any thoughts to pen ( or “computer!”) Suffice it to say that I have been dealing with the blues, feeling a little poorly due to health, and just generally suffering from the “winter doldrums.”

I've already told myself that it's normal to experience periods like this. For me, this is particularly true during the winter months, when I am forced to wait out the cold weather indoors, cloistered away from the sunshine and fresh air. We get a lot of rain here in the south during this time of year, but on “the bright side” it sure beats snow and ice!

Pulling ourselves out of any sort of depression can truly be a test of willpower and spirit. Most of us have and will continue to struggle with moments such as this throughout our lives and I would be lying (at this site devoted to positivity!) if I didn't admit that I, too, have moments of sadness and self-doubt. The trick is knowing when that sadness or a period of the blues is more than we can handle alone. If we find that changing our surroundings, eating habits, exercise routines, or other crucial needs aren't enough to break the cycle of darkness we're feeling, then it's time to seek outside help and assistance. Doesn't necessarily mean that you have to immediately enlist the aide of a licensed psychiatrist – it can start with a simple visit to your regular doctor, where they can help you decide if additional medical treatment is warranted.

I have continued to attend the aerobics class I began in January, and have discovered that I'm really starting to feel better after each class. Just the proper breathing – getting that oxygen to move throughout my body – is probably working wonders for me. (not to mention, I'm beginning to notice the tiniest little bit of room again in my jeans!)

Aside from the exercise and asking God daily to remind me that He's always by my side, I made another decision of self-help this morning - to smile. While I may not actually be using my facial muscles to form this expression on my face continuously (that would be impossible), I made a decision to try and “wear” my smile internally - even though I might not be feeling particularly happy at the moment.

It's worked.

Even though I felt that I was “pretending” to be cheerful (in the beginning), I found as the day moved on that because other people reacted so kindly to my attitude, that my attitude changed. I really began to feel better. I've attempted to practice this “theory” several times before in my life – and have noticed great results each time. However, today was the first time I made myself remain completely aware (all day) of what I was doing to extend a cheerful and positive front. Even though I definitely didn't feel like it when I first got up this morning, by the end of the day, I felt better.

By choosing to be cheerful and kind to those I met and worked with today, they reacted in kind. It transfers so easily: On my way in to work this morning, I was stopped at a particularly busy intersection, waiting to make a left-hand turn. Another driver, in on-coming traffic was also preparing to make a left-hand turn. Rather than continuing on, he stopped and flashed his lights at me in order to let me turn into traffic. As I passed in front of him I smiled and waved in thanks...and he smiled and waved back. Before I knew it, I really was in a much better mood and state of mind. Even at our low moments we have a choice – an opportunity – to be happy.

Thinking back over my day of changing outlooks, a particular song popped into my head (which often happens to me....tunes are forever “popping” into my head!). This piece was written in 1936 as a theme song for a now-famous silent movie. Not too much information is available on exactly how the composer was feeling when these words and music flowed from his heart, but the lyrics are still timeless, and pretty much sum up those sentiments I've shared with you today:


Smile, though your heart is aching,
Smile, even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky-
You'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

"Smile"

- music & lyrics attributed to Charlie Chaplin

1936 - "Modern Times"




Sometimes, a little smile is all it takes – to not only lift the spirits of those around us, but to lift ourselves from an otherwise dark and lonely place.

I hope the smile I found today makes it's way to you!

Pay it forward - spread a smile!

Image courtesy of Comments Yard.com

"Friends - One is Silver, The Other Gold..."

Ah, nostalgia. I believe I'm beginning to understand the real meaning behind the phrase “it is better to have loved, and lost, than to never have loved at all...”

To me, this statement doesn't encompass just those romantic loves we've experienced in our lifetimes, it also holds true in other friendships and relationships. We've all met people who have chosen to remain “closed off” from making close connections with others. Perhaps it is because of some past hurt or (worse) a traumatic event in their lives - they remain adverse to opening their hearts and themselves to not only love, but the infinite possibilities of friendship.

Perhaps people in those lonely situations don't really understand what they're missing...for they rob themselves of so many opportunities. From an early age, our friendships help in the molding and formation of our ultimate personalities.

In forming friendships we travel through various stages – needs - if you will. It's almost like buying and collecting shoes. (Girls, I'm sure you'll get the analogy!) We can buy a lot of shoes in our lifetimes. Some of those shoes are collected for “specific” purposes – you might have a pair for running or exercise, several more just for “dress”, a couple for bad weather days, those you wear just for work, and old ones for working in the yard and getting dirty.....(you get the idea!)

Our friendships are similar – and each of them are important to us for many reasons. Like our shoes, it's not unusual to grow away from certain friendships. Doesn't necessarily mean it was a “bad” relationship. We grow, we change – we are meant to constantly evolve. People we met and became close to in college may not continue to have the same interests we do after leaving school...those we meet while our children are babies, toddlers, then school-age, follow different directions as their children grow and change...individuals we've worked with might leave for other opportunities...and neighbors move. Like an endless cycle of ocean tides, friendships will eternally pass in and out of our lives. Sometimes leaving small, unseen impressions upon our heart, other times leaving profound imprints that permanently – and forever – change us.

Even though I have been extremely blessed with many, many friends throughout my life, I still occasionally experience moments of loneliness. We all do. Why, I don't know. It's at those vulnerable times that I let nostalgia take over my thoughts, and I let myself float back in time to happy days spent with best friends. You know the ones I'm speaking of....like the favorite pair of comfortable, old slippers or flip-flops, those are the friends that no matter what age you are, no matter what stage of life you're in, no matter where you live, or how long it's been since you've seen each other, they still fit. You "get" each other, and you know that when meeting again, you could carry on just like you'd never left or lost touch.

Years ago, I would have let that nostalgia just take over my heart, ending in nothing but a pity party, dreaming of “days-gone-by.” With age, I've discovered that those memories and most special friends bring warm smiles and healing laughter to my soul. I know I was blessed to have even had them in my life at all.

The dearest and closest friend I ever had (other than my husband!), I moved away from when I got married 26 years ago. Though miles apart, I still consider her the best friend I ever had – for she not only shared the best (and certainly the craziest!) of times with me...she knew my faults, my gifts, my quirks, my fears, my endlessly rosy look upon the world....she understood me. She just – got me, and I got her. We could tell each other anything, and felt comfortable enough in each other's presence that we could be or act like anything we wanted to. Instinctively, we knew when each other needed support, or needed constructive criticism. More importantly, I could screw up – she could screw up – yet we continued to forgive each other's failings, and could always move on.

Because we are separated by so many miles – she's in the great white north, I'm in the deep south – we've (unfortunately) only been able to visit each other a few times. (Funny how time, money and distance can keep you apart!) Yet I know that if I picked up the phone today and called her, or showed up on her doorstep, our friendship would pick up right where it “left off.” Though each of us has matured and moved in different directions, (and I just described our friendship in the “past-tense”) this old shoe remains as comfortable, as “stylish,” as fresh as the day we found it!

While thoughts of her and our experiences together are sometimes bittersweet (for I do miss her terribly at times)... I regret nothing, and wouldn't change a thing. I realize that our friendship really taught me how to be a good friend. Forming new friendships, acquaintances, and pals since then, I've discovered that each is unique and special in their own right. Some have lasted for years, some for short periods of time, some briefer still. But I count them all as friends.

“No man is a failure, as long as he has friends.” (Clarence in "It's A Wonderful Life") Just knowing that you are loved – and understanding how special it is to share that connection, even if only briefly – is a gift.

I dedicate this posting to ALL my friends....the old ones, the new ones...the ones I don't see very often, the ones on-line, the ones I see all the time! Some of us have a “history,” some of us share similar interests or hobbies, some of us worship together, and some of us may still be getting to know one another. When feeling down, or sorry for myself – I don't have to search for my dose of positivity too hard. God has Blessed me with each of you, and you all have played a part in who I am and continue to be...I'm so very proud to call you all my friends!

To “Keets:” words are never enough. You are a part of who I was yesterday, today, and yes – even tomorrow! Guess that's how the term “soul sister” came into being! I'll love you forever - remember I've always got your back...

I'd like to close with (probably) my favorite childhood song - I first learned it as a Brownie (at about the age of six) in the U.S. Girl Scouts, and we sang this "round" near campfires throughout my years as a Girl Scout:

“Make new friends, but keep the old...one is Silver and the other Gold.”
Girl Scouts U.S.A. - campfire song

Pretty much says it all, don't ya think?

Pay it forward – spread a smile!

"An Introduction..."

Recently asked to join a group of writers at another Blog, it was requested that I "introduce myself" to my fellow writers and readers by furnishing a short bio of myself.

Since I haven't "properly" done that here, I decided to offer you the piece I posted today over at Writer's Rising. Writing this gave me the opportunity to more deeply explain my decision to explore the world of creative writing, and the new "age" of blogging! I encourage you to explore this other blog, and the fine collection of various writers there.

...as the “new kid on the block” it has been requested that I introduce myself! While I'm certainly no kid, I did recently make a mid-life decision to revisit a life-long dream of mine....to further explore the world of creative writing and my possible place within it. Putting my personal thoughts to paper has sometimes been a difficulty for me – I still have vivid memories of several attempts I've made over the years to begin (hand-written) journals - the challenge lasting maybe a few months, then eventually loosing my momentum and desire.

I discovered the world of blogging late last year – this medium opened up a whole new vista of possibilities to me. Thus, my desire to leave a footprint...a mark...perhaps even a legacy to my family and my world community has been restored. More than just a recording of my day-to-day activities and the important milestones I've experienced within my life (and that of my family), I began to realize that a blog was a form of communication – an opportunity to not only express my inner-most thoughts and personal views of the world around me, but the chance to exchange emotions and viewpoints with other individuals the world over.

This new opportunity has lead me to some wonderful discoveries. The mere process of reading and exploring another person's thoughts, views, and reactions to the world around them brings us profoundly closer together. Cyberspace in general, makes this infinitely easier. But through the personal window of a blogger, we are permitted to discover each other's humor, sadness, joy, wisdom, insight, spirituality, and so much more. The world indeed, becomes a much “smaller” place. I don't believe I will ever tire of feeling the thrill of learning that someone else “out there” is feeling or has felt about something the same way that I do. In addition, by accepting and absorbing views and feelings that differ from mine, I have expanded my vision and personal boundaries. I'm prepared, now, when others begin to question me about the importance or significance of writing a blog: I understand how it brings me closer to the world at large, and that I become an active rather than passive player upon its stage.

My family – like all families - has certainly dealt with its share of toils, troubles, heart-ache, illness, death, and pain. However, we've also been blessed with an amazing number of Joys. When first making the decision to begin a blog, I struggled with the question of what “genre,” which direction, my blog-writing should take. There were and are so many wonderful and creative “mommy-blogs” out there, and while each of us is more than capable of sharing unique and individual stories, I felt that I didn't quite fit that shoe.

My husband (and most of my family) will tell you that I tend to perpetually wear a pair of rose-colored glasses. I heartily admit that I've had some (extremely) low points of self-esteem and sadness in my life, but I almost always bounce back, remaining the “cock-eyed optimist” that I am. I most certainly am not claiming to be perfect - believe me, I'm still working on ironing out some personal issues at the age of fifty! But more-often-than-not, you'll find me searching for the positive part of any situation - or person, for that matter.

Thus, it made perfect sense that I focus my energies, my gifts, on seeking out the positive in all that I undertook while writing for my blog. My desire is that while continuing to learn about, absorb, and appreciate the world around me (in the company and in guidance of fellow writers), that I return a smile, a small slice of Joy...a brief respite for my fellow travelers on this journey we call life. I am SO looking forward to meeting other writers and readers via Writer's Rising, and rubbing elbows with those I now consider my teachers and colleagues.

I'm humbled and grateful that you landed here, chose to read my thoughts, and are sharing the ride with me!

Pay it forward - spread a smile!

"YOU ROCK!!!"

Imagine my surprise a couple days ago, when I opened a message - via a fellow-blogger - to view her recent posting to receive "a gift."

I immediately did as she requested, and there my name had been generously added to a list of bloggers she has come to enjoy and personally resonate with. Katherine at Lessons From The Monk I Married is a seasoned and gifted writer....I consider myself one of the new "kids" in this world of blogging, and she has already become a mentor and example to me!

Katherine has traveled and experienced more of the world than most of us will ever even dream about....though I have figured out that I am her "senior" (only in years!), her wisdom and truly enlightened view of our human spirit continues to be an inspiration and education to me.

Because I personally consider this fellow-writer as a mentor and teacher, you can appreciate my feelings of humble gratitude for her act of recognition and kindness. Receiving this small confidence-booster brought to mind something I've always believed in, and try to practice as often as I can. What we consider a "small" word of kindness or encouragement, can mean infinitely so much more to someone who may not realize they've touched your life in some way. Taking the time to extend a thank you, or recognition for a job-well-done, or supporting any form of heart-felt effort never gets old. We all need to hear those words of encouragement, support, and bravo!

In today's world of "I need it immediately" and "what's in it for me," how often do we take the time to thank someone for their hospitality, a friendly transaction, or "going the extra mile?" Many of us have emailed or hand-written notes and letters of dis-satisfaction and complaint. But how often do we remember to verbalize our appreciation or thoughts of "Well Done!" to someone?

For example: There have been a few teachers over the course of our three son's lives that I actually wrote letters of acknowledgement and appreciation to. I wanted - actually needed - them to know how much they had touched that particular child's life. Deep within me, I knew that such letters would most likely become treasured keepsakes and reminders of their life's calling as a teacher for many years.

"Awards" or trophies can definitely be testaments of our efforts - we've all attempted to be "the best" at something. But all the trophies, awards, or certificates of merit can't hold a candle to personal words of praise and affirmation. Particularly when those words come from others we serve, love, and admire.

What a gift - what a treasure - when we are the recipients of such pats on the back. As Katherine Jenkins wrote in a recent posting: "I have heard of bloggers who don't accept awards. I accept them with open arms...why not? When we spread the love and gratitude around, we have more love and gratitude to give."

In that regard, as a recipient of this little blogging recognition, I am to pay-it-forward, by listing 10 things that make me happy, followed by a listing of ten of my favorite blogs:

Ten things that make me happy (in no particular order!):

1. My 3 boys!
2. My husband.
3. Our household of pets (see my profile for a listing of the furry kids.)
4. Singing (& music in general.)
5. A great book- read in a comfy chair, a quiet room, with a hot beverage, my pooch beside me!
6. Organizing/cleaning....(I know, that sounds truly anal, doesn't it?)
7. Writing!
8. Gardening/working in the yard on a beautiful day.
9. Sitting with my feet in the sand on a sunny beach.
10. Making/creating gifts for friends and family.

Ten of my favorite blogs (again, in no particular order!):

1. "Lessons From The Monk I Married" - Katherine Jenkins http://lessonsfromthemonkimarried.blogspot.com/

2. "Mod Podge Rocks" - Amy Anderson
http://modpodgerocks.blogspot.com/

3. "I'd Rather Be Blogging" - Maureen Kuppe
http://www.ratherbeblogging.com/

4. "My Favorite Things" - Molly Elmer
http://thesefavoritethings.blogspot.com/2001/01/my-favorite-things-is-blog-that-is.html

5. "Writer's Rising" - various contributors
http://writersrising.blogspot.com/

6. "One Woman's DayDreams" - Lady Of The Lake
http://daydreamsofanaveragewoman.blogspot.com/

7. "Thoughts Along Life's Highway" - Lois Houston
http://loishouston.typepad.com/thoughts-along-lifes-highway/

8. "The Positivity Blog" - Henrik Edberg
http://www.positivityblog.com/

9. "Dooce" - Heather Armstrong
http://www.dooce.com/about

10. "Ugly OverLoad" - Raging Wombat
http://uglyoverload.blogspot.com/


To those I've mentioned here, I sincerely thank you for allowing me to follow your progress, sneak a peek into your lives, and learn from your example!

Still a newbie in the blogging world, I continue to discover blogs that are inspirational, humorous, moving, fun, and joys to read. Thank you for sharing your talents - and yourselves - with the world.

And to my new friend, Katherine: You are a Blessing and a gift - I look forward to absorbing your wisdom and teachings in the days to come! Peace.

Pay it forward - spread a smile!

"Inspirational Reading"

I recently finished reading "The Last Lecture" - an amazing story of courage, dreaming and achieving your goals, perseverance, and just....living.

The story was that of Randy Pausch - quite a few readers may recognize the name, as he gained fame and notoriety after the academic community released his inspiring story to the public, and shows such as Good Morning America and Oprah clamored to have him appear on their programs. I remember catching his appearance on Oprah a little over a year ago, and watching segments of this taped "last lecture" on her program. It was both heart-breaking, and yet extremely inspiring.

Randy was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, and at the age of only 46, was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Always an optimist, this young, fun-loving and inspiring professor was motivated to give his "last lecture," triggered by an age-old question - "what would you do if you had only six months to live?" His moving lecture, which focused on how to live, so exemplified the virtues of grace, hope, love and courage, that it encouraged the entire university to carry his message, and it spread to millions throughout the U.S. and eventually the world.

The lecture was video-taped, and was re-played by various news and media sources over the course of his illness...Randy had no idea that his message would go on to touch the lives of millions of people. Originally meant to be a lasting legacy to his family, students and colleagues, Randy deeply desired to share the lessons and life-experiences that he believed truly shaped and cultivated his optimistic zest for life, and achieving his dreams. While it was basically a record of virtues and attributes he came to believe were essential to achieving your greatest desires, Randy's final lecture - "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" - was also a lesson in having fun. Published after his famous talk, the book goes on to include how it IS possible to make your life meaningful, abundant, and worthwhile every day.

This book was so full of life, so full of optimism and hope, that I found it almost unbelievable that Randy lost his battle with cancer on July 25, 2008. I already knew (prior to purchasing the book) that he had passed away, and when I came to the final chapters of his book, I was astounded that I was feeling both grief and happiness. Even though Randy Pausch died over a year ago, and the world has lost a phenomenal spirit of Joy and Hope, his recorded thoughts and teachings will continue to be a noble example of "seizing every moment....because time is all you have....and you may find one day that you have less than you think."

The experience of reading this book was yet another poignant illustration to me that even in the face of death, in great sorrow - we can find Joy. Through the tears there can be laughter, there can be humour...there can be hope. Only a couple-hundred pages long, I sincerely recommend this small, yet totally fulfilling book to everyone....particularly young adults as they embark on choosing or beginning new careers and making significant life-choices. I'll definitely be encouraging my three sons to read it!

You may read more about Randy Pausch's amazing life and view video of his final lecture at the following website:

http://www.thelastlecture.com/

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer."

Picture and quotations from "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.

Pay it forward - spread a smile!